Moving on Playlist by Yours Truly

  1. Avicii – For a Better Day
  2. Bullet Dumas – Put to Waste
  3. Coldplay – Fix You
  4. Coldplay (Cover by Bullet Dumas and Clara Benin) – Till Kingdom Come
  5. UDD – Indak
  6. Ang Bandang Shirley (Cover by Bullet Dumas) – Di na Babalik
  7. Coldplay – Yellow
  8. Spongecola – Di mo na Mababawi
  9. Marion Aunor – Goodbye Kiss
  10. UDD – Tadhana

It’s not really a moving on playlist, more like, making peace playlist. I would like to call it that. These songs really helped me shape my perspective in goodbye’s. Yellow is a love song, I know, but I associated this song to a person or possibly, a situation. I think even when we close a certain door on someone — accepting that we can never open that door again — I think that we will always love that person how ever we loved them then. Yes. Despite the goodbyes, despite the sad ending. That is why Yellow is up there. It feels wrong not to put it there.

For a Better Day is a song I got from a movie called How To Be Single haha yeah I know. It was such a feel-good movie, perfect for a rainy day with a bottle of beer or maybe a mug of hot coffee (depende sa mood mo). Why do you think humans, when they know they are miserable, they want to drown in that misery, to fall deeper in the bubble of drama? I don’t know but it feels good to just be. Just like this song, Di mo na Mababawi by Spongecola is such an in-the-mood song. When you just want to be left alone with your feelings, you listen to this hehe.

“Alay sa ‘tin ng tadhana
Ang perwisyo at sumpa
Na naging mas makahulugan ang buhay
Nang tayo’y naging magkakilala”

“Perhaps I have wasted my time
By sharing my thoughts with you
And I will proudly smile
Coz I would waste another lifetime with you
If i can”

Bullet Dumas’s music saved me from drowning in that misery. His music and even the covers he sings just give peace to my soul. His composition, Put to Waste I particularly liked because of how he was able to change the emotion in that one song by changing the language of the lyrics so abruptly. And that’s it, the process of just making peace with yourself, with the situation, with the universe is a long and hard climb because sometimes you slip back to your bitter self. And that is okay cos you already know to keep moving forward, to that place where there is no room for bitterness, just gratefulness and peace that everything will be okay.

Indak by UDD, I just found this song and it is so good. It did not really fit the theme but I love it so much I need to listen to it along with the other songs haha! Indak has a push and pull feel to it — like there is uncertainty but also a surety — in other words, magulo talaga which is the opposite of making peace. But maybe you accept the fact that there will always be situations that you will be confused and that is okay because this shall pass. What’s important is to enjoy the dance while you can. There are Bullet Dumas songs to listen to after you fall anyways lol.

. . .

Another song by UDD is Tadhana and it is just beyond beautiful.

I like Marion Aunor, her voice is so sassy. Goodbye kiss is a happy song about blowing your problems away. Just so right for a stressful day.

So there you are. My Making Peace With Myself playlist. Cheers.

 

Moving on Playlist by Yours Truly

Eureka moment: I am Chihiro, Spirited Away

I am the kind of person who watches movies. Who really watches them not because I am bored, not because I got nothing to do. I really think that it is necessary for my well-being. Don’t get me wrong, I am not necessarily a movie buff. I just watch movies. I say that a lot and I claim still that I am not a movie buff *ahem* Watching movies just helps me think, helps me reflect, helps me understand myself more, helps me understand other people more. It is really fascinating. You should try watching movies, you know, really watch them.

Studio Ghibli films are just my type of movie that I know will come in handy in the future because its productions, though animated (and if films are animated, they are usually for kids), is filled with so much umm feels. Emotion. Let me skip topic and let us talk about this all-time favorite Studio Ghibli film of mine — Spirited Away.

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I hadn’t known then how strikingly familiar this film would be to me in the next few years.

A month ago, I decided to leave a place I considered a home and friends I have considered a family. It was not an easy decision to make but in order to grow, I needed to. It also has long been a toxic place for me where I felt my growth as a professional was restraint and I cannot live in a place where learning is void, I just can’t. I will hold myself responsible if I did not do well in this life God gave me. In this life, I get only one shot, and I will make the most out of it. Now, I am back in my hometown with a heavy heart and a bad case of sepanx (separation anxiety). I like what I am doing now, I feel like this is a job meant for a BS DevCom graduate but.

But I miss my people. I kept checking up on them via social media networks. I stayed connected through chats and text messages. I am in my hometown but my heart, I think I left it in Baguio. I am not present, I am not living in the moment at all because half the time my mind goes back to the friends that I left. I know they have their own lives to live and I have my own as well but.

I think it is time again, to decide to let go and let God.

I see some parallels in my life that is also in Spirited Away. Chihiro had a whole new family in the Spirit world. No matter how weird they were, it was the place that Chihiro felt she was most herself. She became friends with No-Face, she saved the Onsen from that stinky Kamisama. She became an instant heroine in the Onsen earning favor from the witch that governed the place. Even the Kamisama favored Chihiro. Chihiro spent her whole time running away from a place that loved her. Chihiro became another — Sen. She loved being Sen but there was always Haku to remind her of her true name, to remind her of her goal — to free her parents and finally come back home.

I love the whole character development (from scaredy cat Chihiro to a brave and kind Chihiro) but let me skip to the part where it was time for goodbye. I relate to that moment. That part where Chihiro was sad to go and leave Haku behind. She was afraid that she will forget Haku but then again Zeniba, the twin-witch said to her that “Once you meet someone, you never really forget them.”

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What baffled me that first time I watched Spirited Away was that last part when Haku told Chihiro to run towards the cave (which was some sort of portal to the mortal world) and no matter what, she must not look back. I felt like there was significance to that scene because it was full of close-ups etc, you really can feel the effort of the production to build up the emotion in that scene. Chihiro even stopped and almost turned back to check on Haku but she just shook her head and began running again towards the cave.

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But I understand now. To truly be able to return to the mortal world, Chihiro must erase all feelings of wanting to go back to the Spirit World. She will just have to keep on moving forward. I think that applies to me as well. No matter how hard, moving forward is a part of life. You will just have to hold on to that faith that we never truly forget a person we already met so we can have peace that even if we don’t look back (for now), the love that was shared is not make-believe, it was real. I think that is a bond that is hard to forget. Maybe the mind will, but the heart will not. In the last part, where Chihiro and her parents finally returned to their own world, you may notice that Chihiro did glance back. She glanced back when she knew it was safe to look back. It was okay because she has returned home.

My worry is that, in my travel to my own Spirit World, I may miss some great moments that are happening in my reality now. I think I should try to live in the present more. I should try being open to new friends, new work, new environment.

So that’s about it. That is my eureka moment. That I am Chihiro and I was spirited away.

 

Eureka moment: I am Chihiro, Spirited Away