Moving on Playlist by Yours Truly

  1. Avicii – For a Better Day
  2. Bullet Dumas – Put to Waste
  3. Coldplay – Fix You
  4. Coldplay (Cover by Bullet Dumas and Clara Benin) – Till Kingdom Come
  5. UDD – Indak
  6. Ang Bandang Shirley (Cover by Bullet Dumas) – Di na Babalik
  7. Coldplay – Yellow
  8. Spongecola – Di mo na Mababawi
  9. Marion Aunor – Goodbye Kiss
  10. UDD – Tadhana

It’s not really a moving on playlist, more like, making peace playlist. I would like to call it that. These songs really helped me shape my perspective in goodbye’s. Yellow is a love song, I know, but I associated this song to a person or possibly, a situation. I think even when we close a certain door on someone — accepting that we can never open that door again — I think that we will always love that person how ever we loved them then. Yes. Despite the goodbyes, despite the sad ending. That is why Yellow is up there. It feels wrong not to put it there.

For a Better Day is a song I got from a movie called How To Be Single haha yeah I know. It was such a feel-good movie, perfect for a rainy day with a bottle of beer or maybe a mug of hot coffee (depende sa mood mo). Why do you think humans, when they know they are miserable, they want to drown in that misery, to fall deeper in the bubble of drama? I don’t know but it feels good to just be. Just like this song, Di mo na Mababawi by Spongecola is such an in-the-mood song. When you just want to be left alone with your feelings, you listen to this hehe.

“Alay sa ‘tin ng tadhana
Ang perwisyo at sumpa
Na naging mas makahulugan ang buhay
Nang tayo’y naging magkakilala”

“Perhaps I have wasted my time
By sharing my thoughts with you
And I will proudly smile
Coz I would waste another lifetime with you
If i can”

Bullet Dumas’s music saved me from drowning in that misery. His music and even the covers he sings just give peace to my soul. His composition, Put to Waste I particularly liked because of how he was able to change the emotion in that one song by changing the language of the lyrics so abruptly. And that’s it, the process of just making peace with yourself, with the situation, with the universe is a long and hard climb because sometimes you slip back to your bitter self. And that is okay cos you already know to keep moving forward, to that place where there is no room for bitterness, just gratefulness and peace that everything will be okay.

Indak by UDD, I just found this song and it is so good. It did not really fit the theme but I love it so much I need to listen to it along with the other songs haha! Indak has a push and pull feel to it — like there is uncertainty but also a surety — in other words, magulo talaga which is the opposite of making peace. But maybe you accept the fact that there will always be situations that you will be confused and that is okay because this shall pass. What’s important is to enjoy the dance while you can. There are Bullet Dumas songs to listen to after you fall anyways lol.

. . .

Another song by UDD is Tadhana and it is just beyond beautiful.

I like Marion Aunor, her voice is so sassy. Goodbye kiss is a happy song about blowing your problems away. Just so right for a stressful day.

So there you are. My Making Peace With Myself playlist. Cheers.

 

Moving on Playlist by Yours Truly

Seek the blessor and not the blessing: On beauty and art, blessings, and my favorite sin

On beauty and art.

“Kuhanan mo yan ng picture, Michi. Ang ganda o! [Take a picture of this, Michi. So beautiful!]”

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So I begrudgingly took a photo of this boring scenery. I mean, yes it is beautiful with all the bougainvillea “flowers” fallen to the ground, like it is autumn. Come to think of it, I phrased that rather, beautifully. You may be thinking what a killjoy/weirdo I am to think of this scene, boring.

If I were to take this photo, I will not capture the whole thing, I will focus on the colorful and vibrant, metamorphosed leaves of the bougainvillea (Erratum: This is not bougainvillea at all, sorry! But it is the thought that counts.). I think it’s beautiful how the leaves are the main event in this plant species and not the tiny flowers.

If I were to take this photo, I will capture what is real. And the “flowers” here are lies. By capturing the photo as it is, people will think, “Oh, what a pretty scene.” but they won’t know its mysteries, they won’t know that the colorful “flowers” that lie on the ground are actually leaves. The whole, supposedly beautiful scene will then be devalued, will be simplified into an ordinary, pretty scene. Boring.

People ask me questions why do I pay attention to say, abandoned nurseries, they say I should take a photo of a flower instead. Why? because in that abandoned nursery, there is life inside. No one will know it unless I go and capture those beautifully lined seedlings inside plastic pots.

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Why pay attention to already pretty things? Why not focus on the “ugly”? I find it extremely attractive and beautiful and amazing (hehehe) when a person “notices”. When a person notices the beauty beyond and despite the flaws, and somehow to this person, the flaws magnify the beauty.

On blessings. Let’s discuss my “favorite” sin.

“Seek the blessOR and not the blessing.”

Last Sunday was a reminder for me to always have a grateful heart. Because when you become so full of praise and thanksgiving and gratefulness, you develop a heart of humility.

Let’s talk about my favorite sin. It’s not so much that I like doing this sin in fact, I hate myself for this sin. I am proud. I am too boastful. Mayabang. Kinakahiya ko ‘yon. Sometimes, I even am proud of myself for being humble (if that makes sense). Sometimes I boast that I am a Christian so HA! I am better than you, you, and you because yall don’t know nothing. It takes a lot of courage to own up to this sin. As I have earlier said, I delude myself into thinking that I am not proud, that I only boast in my God. But I was wrong, wrong, wrong.

This is why the proverb, Humility Before Honor is so close to my heart. I was unconsciously battling this favorite sin of mine as I consciously rated myself if I was humble. It does not help that God blessed me with all these talents (ayan ang yabang ko na naman!) and every time I read the bible, I am always reading “You are special, you are my daughter” — Sino ba namang hindi lalaki ang ulo kapag sinabihan ka non ni Lord?! My fault? I am handling this sin by my own. I thought I could heal myself. I thought I was being mature. Pero ang pinapairal ko lang pala ay ang kayabangan ko. I was only feeding my sin. I should have surrendered this sin to God because I cannot heal myself, only He can.

By seeking the blessor, by praising Him first, this is a way to develop a humble heart. A heart that seeks humility before honor.  A heart that does not lean to its own understanding, a heart that follows the convictions of the Holy Spirit. That is the heart that I want.

So Lord, develop in me this principle: Humility Before Honor.

Seek the blessor and not the blessing: On beauty and art, blessings, and my favorite sin

I’m alive! My start of the week from mini hell, my love for Hozier, and grace

So I am having a blogging block. That sucks because last week I was full of ideas and was really excited to write but then those ideas came with an expiration date, I guess that is why now what is left is just the excitement but those ideas went poof. nada!

writing block

Anyway let’s talk about my start of the week from mini hell. So just this Monday, I was chilling. Editing some designs here and there, writing some articles here and making powerpoint presentations there. It’s all good, I can do this, no sweat. But then I was having this Neville-like feeling like I forgot something important. Then this remembrall (a person, obviously) asked me if I have finished the video  that our boss assigned me to do (like, ages ago).

remembrall

Okay I know remembralls can’t spill what we forgot but in my world, they do haha sorry potterheads. ANYWAY that was the start of my mini hell cos apparently, the presentation was due on Wednesday morning. Luckily I already wrote a script and was even edited already, I only needed to apply the edits which took half of my Monday. I even stayed in the office over time to record the Narration part of the video (did I mention I am the VO? Ha! One man team FTW). The whole Tuesday was allotted for hardcore editing. Yes. Hardcore.

deadline is where I get my creative juices

I really looked like that while editing. I figured I should just leave the contacts and put on my geeky glasses cos Tuesday is reserved for hardcore editing, looking at the computer screen all day may further impair my already faulty eyes/eye sight. Tuesday was not enough, I just had to call it a day and wake up early on Wednesday to do some finishing touches and finally render the effing video.

Today is Wednesday, guess what I survived PRAISE THE LORD HALLELUJAH. I think Hozier helped managing my stress levels. Apart from the video editing, I was also editing some presentation so it was kinda hectic. I was listening to From Eden by Hozier. It was so beautiful. It made me purr. Literally. Wait– not literally, really Just, purr from the inside you know.

There were times when I don’t even want to be bothered from what I was doing so every person who would interact with me, I just gave curt answers so they’d go away. Yeaaaahhh. Hadn’t made the best choices. I was rude and I was pulling my hair for that because honestly, looking back, I did not recognize myself in there. Why oh why did I let loose my inner monster?  I don’t want to be trapped in this state of condemnation so I forced myself to think about God’s grace. I say “force” because it was not easy thinking about God when I felt so tainted. I forced myself to think about how God was the one who made me, how God was the one who saved me. He saved a wretched little thing like me so who am I to not forgive myself when God Himself said I am justified, that I am FREE, that I am beautiful and intricate and full of faults. To make the long story short, after a while, I forgave myself. I also prayed that I may find a way to make up to those people… You know it was really humiliating, how I acted, I could laugh!

Anyway that’s grace. And you know what, I made it.

I think I should get back to my assignment. Ciao!

I’m alive! My start of the week from mini hell, my love for Hozier, and grace